Fart Filtering Boxers
You have a problem. Your husband is really, really stinky. You’ve tried to tell him, with characteristic wifely delicacy (OMG BRIAN!!! Your farts are ROTTEN!!) but he still refuses to stop letting rip whenever he likes. At home, in church, at your dear mother’s house….the embarrassment!! It doesn’t help that all the other men present giggle and applaud, as if super smelly, loud farts are the pinnacle of human achievement. You have had enough. But here is a solution you never thought would exist, no doubt invented by a woman with a similarly irritating spouse. Fart-filtering boxers. Yes, I know….genius! Pure genius!
These amazing boxers are going to revolutionise your life. No more smelly, gaseous emissions. You may have to listen to them still, but at least you will still be able to breathe the air in the room after he has let one rip! You will be able to live in close proximity to your beloved again, and all plans to exile him to the garden shed can now be shelved. These miracle working boxers will change your life, and you need to confiscate all his old undies immediately, so he is forced to wear only these.
The Fart Filtering boxers work like this; an activated carbon panel is woven into the rear of the boxers. And gaseous emissions are instantly trapped and neutralised by this panel, rendering the farter helpless, and saving the lives of the people closest to him. When the underpants are washed, the activated carbon panel is refreshed, so it can continue its work time and time again.
Men often take pride in their ability to fumigate entire rooms, so it might be best not to tell him the secret powers of these clever boxers. Just ditch the entire drawer of his old undies, preferably on garbage day, so he can’t go through the rubbish bin and get them back. Then replace them with the Fart Filtering boxers, and just say something vague about how his favourite sports star wears these, so you thought he might like them. You may also have to occasionally pretend his farts still stink though, or he may decide something is up!
Ladies, you can now life stench-free, and sit safely in your lavender scented lounge rooms with your nearest and dearest, secure in the knowledge that no sulphurous odours will creep in to ruin the afternoon. We hear the makers are currently working on a sound-proofing model as well, so the male obsession with fartiness will be well and truly overcome by feminine ingenuity!