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Giant Floor Piano
The Piano is one of the most loved instruments around the world, but many people sadly struggle to play the piano because of their gross, oversized fingers, or the fact that they just have no musical talent whatsoever.
Never fear, because the Giant Floor Piano is here! Even people with massive fingers, or who really suck at music can use this piano, because it is Giant! And on the floor!! And best of all, you play it with your feet!
The Giant Floor Piano is just that; Giant! It is 120cm long and 45cm wide, so it is great for kinds, and is a fantastic party game for two or more people if you can squeeze into it. Throw out that Twister game, the collosal pianoforte is here! With two full octaves, and eight different instruments to choose from, the Giant Floor Piano produces hours of fun for people of all ages.
The Giant Floor Piano is the perfect accompaniment to any party. Children will love playing each other ‘Happy Birthday’ and other popular party songs, and all your drunk friends will enjoy making up sophisticated Jazz riffs, getting more ‘creative’ the more they drink!
This also makes a fun and romantic activity for dates; just imagine yourself and your attractive special someone hopping around, creating a romantic duet, or you can serenade them, and impress them with your smooth dance moves, all at the same time!
This piano, like all musical instruments, is something that you can improve on with practice. Purchasing your own gigantic piano will give you all the time in the world to master this wonderful musician. The Giant Floor Piano can also open doors to a new artistic career; the field of performance art will open up to you with the Floor Piano’s help! Just choose your favourite classical or jazz piece, then play it in an art gallery naked in a giant perspex box for eight hours, while sobbing uncontrollably. You can vary the performance by smearing yourself in baked beans, or having slides of the moon landing projected onto your naked body. Whatever. You don’t even need to explain yourself, just call yourself an Artist and wear funny clothes, and people will totally buy it.
The Giant Floor Piano can bring so much wonder and excitement into your life. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a giant instrument they can play with their feet, but now you are! Runs on 4 AA batteries. Bonus tracks included, so you can fake it til you make it. Please don’t take it in the bath, you’ll just break it.