Come In / Go Away Doormat
Not everyone likes people. And not everyone likes people every day.
Some days, you just want to crawl into your Cave of Despair, eat a few tubs of Ben & Jerry’s, and cry softly to yourself for a few hours. On days like that, the last thing you want is to open the door to is a cheery Religious spruiker, or an earnest electricity salesman. This doormat will help you communicate with the outside world without even having to be present. Forget verbal communication, all you need is this little rectangle of brown and black spikiness to plonk at your front door, and all the work will be done for you.
On antisocial days, when you just can’t bear to peer out from beneath your fringe to make eye contact with another human, place the mat facing outwards, so it reads ‘Go Away!’ The exclamation point is implied, but people will know what you mean. If you’re having a less bad day, and wouldn’t mind some polite chit chat, especially if they also bring cake, simply flip the mat around to read ‘Come In’ and everyone will know you had a shower and brushed your teeth.
This convenient and handy come in go /away doormat is better than smoke signals, more convenient than text, and longer lasting than a candle in the window. Made from hard wearing coconut fibres, this mat is weatherproof and resistant to snow, as well as being able to withstand the bitter tears of disappointment you can’t help but shed when, despite the mat clearly being in the ‘Come In’ position, no-one bothers to call.